They’re just two sticks connected by a string, but they are also responsible for more injuries in the martial arts world than MMA, illegal club fights and the Dim Mak Death Touch combined.
Nunchaku are perhaps one of the most misused and misunderstood weapons in all of martial arts. Never mind that Bruce Lee popularized them in Enter The Dragon to such a point that everyone from newborns to senior citizens were whacking themselves in a futile attempt to look cool …
Hear that swooshing sound? That’s the sound of thousands of heads getting their lumps. It’s a sound that normally would cause rational people to back up if not totally turn tail and run away. I’ve had pets that put their ears back and fled when I practiced nunchaku and created that sound, but people?
No. People come in closer to get a better look. Then THEY want to try it, because it looks like fun and it doesn’t seem too terribly hard to do.
Now, a dog’s growl and a cat’s hiss are natural warning sounds – their prey know they’re in trouble when they hear those sounds issuing from the hunter’s mouth. It’s Nature’s way of telling them “Time to leave Dodge!”, and being dumb animals that can’t use an iPhone or talk about philosophy they do just that.
But not people. We all sat in the dark theater and watched Bruce use those sticks like a man possessed , we HEARD those sounds through massive speakers, and we promptly decided to go out and buy a pair of ‘chucks at the nearest martial arts supermarket.
Here are a few guys that never learned the futility of that plan, never learned that the BEST way to defeat your opponent with nunchaku is to simply HAND them to him. Now I understand that many of these clips portray beginners, that they haven’t gotten their “sea legs” yet and that the conventional wisdom is that they’ll achieve mastery through dedicated, focused practice over time.
Right. And I’m Chuck Norris’ long-lost twin brother.
See, it doesn’t MATTER what you do; you can practice for years, use foam-padded ‘chucks held together with soft cotton rope, practice in a padded room while wearing a motorcycle helmet … it just will NOT make a bit of difference: those sticks are coming for YOU. Someday, sometime, somewhere … they’ll get you, usually in front of people that you most want to impress with your warrior prowess.
Hear that laughter in the background? You might THINK that’s canned audience laughter, but it isn’t – it’s the laughter of the thousands of souls that have passed into the hereafter because of these Devil Sticks!
Or what about THIS guy? All he’s doing is holding the ‘chucks in his hands – that’s all, just HOLDING them – yet they get their revenge …
Tell me that isn’t pure, unadulterated EVIL!
This next young man seems to have everything going for him – he’s young, in great physical condition, he’s obviously spent many years learning martial arts (check out the kicks!) … heck, he even LOOKS a bit like Bruce Lee. He’s got a punching bag hanging in his room so you KNOW he takes his martial arts seriously.
The scene is set – get ready to be impressed!
See? SEE? What did I TELL you? It doesn’t MATTER how much experience you have, it doesn’t matter how physically-fit you are or even if you look like a legendary martial artist – THOSE THINGS WILL GET YOU!
Laugh if you like – go ahead, I’ll wait – but I firmly believe that nunchaku are instruments of the coming Armageddon.
Think they can only hit you in the head or the groin? Think again – nunchaku have the power to TAKE YOU DOWN faster than Rorion Gracie …
Oh, the humanity …
See, the reason Bruce Lee could handle those Chopsticks of Doom is because he was touched by the Gods – no nunchaku in its right mind would ever DREAM of going up against The Master …
So unless you have proof positive that you too are one of the Favored Ones, my advice is to throw those cursed things away, or give them to your worst enemy. No good will EVER come from their usage.
You have been warned.